Hallucinations, no matter how well meaning, do not qualify as Self Help

Well, THAT title is sure misleading! Because I got bored with my hallucinations and have moved on several times over since then.

However, I will say that for a control freak, hallucinations are right up there with whatever drugs they try to sedate you with when putting you under - NOT RELAXING ME.  Especially worse when your loved ones tell you that you were going off about too many layers of meat on your bed and how your new boots were stolen, and if we could just get through that last layer of sleep there's something special - a prize? I just don't know. I never got there.

But hey, there is more Self Help on the way! Because my trip to Dr. Say Nothing, the gastroenterologist was beyond disapointing. I need to see a "super-specialist" I guess.  And let me guess what else - are there like only one of these magical people in the entire world Bay Area?  And let me guess what else? Would their first availability be sometime after monkeys fly out of my butt? February? earliest?

Yeah.  So, what does any self respecting over-educated Ph.D. do at a time like this? Search the internet!! (duh).  I have made an appointment with an acupuncturist here in Alameda who seems to have a cult-like following - and this put me off and I almost went with the nice lady (I assume shes nice) who is actually partially covered by my insurance. But then I realized the amount of money the insurance company was going to reimburse were fairly small so I went for the Acupuncturist with a capital A and a radio show and 72 Yelp reviews, all positive, and half a dozen recommendations on Berkeley Parents Network. He also has a lot of policies and his staff want to be sure you know it is expensive right up front. So I'm nervous. But I'm going.  If it is too cult-y for me I can always go to plan B - the nice lady with better rates and coverage.

I also researched my herbal and supplement options and ordered/bought some expensive stuff to try.  Actually one is like an old friend - I can't wait until I get my bottle. "Iberogast" - an herbal concoction I used for my  tummy years ago that really seemed to help. But they didn't sell it at the local health food store. Oh well.

Parting rant:
Gastroparesis - a problem I know pretty well. I know the symptoms, what makes it worse (sometimes) - it flares, it goes.  It does NOT cause bouts of uncontrolled vomiting 4-12 times per hour for a week following a pretty predictable cycle. Period.  Dr. Say Nothing just didn't seem to get this. When I asked this so called specialist was it GP when I had pregnancy induced hyperemesis, he said OOOH NO - that is something entirely different!  Still I couldn't get a lightbulb to go on for the concept of a hormonal or migraine like problem lately even though I do have some gastroparesis.

It happens all the time. If you have (insert chronic disease here, in my case diabetes), then the most logical choice for a doctor is to pin your new problem squarely onto that old problem.  I believe in parsimony, but I believe more strongly that a diagnostician should be thinking about all the cards on the table and turning them over one at a time. Not just looking at the same 2 or 3 and trying to make new hands out of them when it just doesn't make sense anymore.
sheesh.