A new study released today in the Journal of Irreproducable Results (JIR) shows that 99% of Americans do not believe in a Miracle Cure. The study was conducted by administering a questionnaire at over 100 clinics and hospitals in 16 different states across the US. "What people fail to realize" commented researcher Jane Buchanan researcher from Bob University, "is that we are administering Miracle Cures all the time!" One example explained by Dr. Buchanan, is the formula in Extra Strength Excedrin. "That stuff will clear up a headache in 15 minutes", she stated. Other examples of Miracle Cures cited in the article include penicillin, insulin for diabetics, and bronchiodilators.
Perhaps the problem is that people have different genetics, and our genes can have a very strong influence on how a drug will or won't work on different people. "I contend that there are Miracle Cures out there, and more being developed all the time" says Dr. Buchanan. " Another of the investigators, Dr. Dave Science stated: "Our society has gotten used to the idea that we can buy these curative agents often right over the counter. And they do not always work for every person. To me, that does not make them any less miraculous when you consider where we would be and have been in the past, without these Miracle Cures."
This post is #20 for the HAWMC - pure fiction made up by yours truly.